I Love My Life...

You see, there is a REASON I didn't want to tell anybody about RandomMan. And that stemmed from the fear that something oh so wrong could happen, you know. That 'what-if' idea - and the less you speak about it, the more its fine. Once you break it out into the open, then you have to hash it over and deal with it, and when things happen - they go public.

Like perhaps, last night. Where I'm having a lovely, procrastination break at 3 am, talking to a friend and RandomMan. Wherein RandomMan confides that he has to continue paying for his online dating account, as he 'instant messaged' someone. Right off the bat, I'm like oh shit - "warning, warning, abort mission" - he's online-cheating on me - cause he sure didn't IM me. (Which precludes the idea - why the shit do I care? This whole thing is for creepers ONLINE). And he then proceeds to talk about how the chat rooms for that website are really interesting... and here... the warning bells get louder, and louder inside my head. Which is about the point where he interjects that however, he doesn't really 'interact' in the chatrooms....and at this point - I've got a firealarm going off in my head. He continues with the observation that people just have webcams. Basically - there is an air raid signal going off in the nether- reaches of my brain, before he just blurts out that he really just enjoys WATCHING.

Last night, the only person who seemed to have any interest in me - after three months of wading through broken english MSN-chatting, being stood up last week for gelato by a different guy, inviting a man who I didn't know was married, to a charity event - which he didn't even show up to, finding out the "lesbian" friend I sat next to at said charity event is actually involved with a man with a kid - and even at that, when I thought perhaps I could have a crush on my head delegate, he mentioned that the 'failed' lesbian (as I thought) was a FOX!, - that ONE person who has showed a continued interest, is a self proclaimed voyeur. When he asked me what my 'thing' was, I suppressed my instant reaction. I instead congratulated him on discovering himself- remarking on how exciting that is... And subsequently blocked him on my MSN list.

I fucking well love my life.